Name: Designing for Conflict: How Joshua Graves Builds Better Teams and Products
Uploaded: 2025-06-04T17:24:46.000Z
Duration: 3525
Description: Joshua Graves, founder of Lost Horse Labs and author of We Need to Talk, joins the show to unpack what happens when product leaders ignore hard conversations —...

Joshua Graves, founder of Lost Horse Labs and author of We Need to Talk, joins the show to unpack what happens when product leaders ignore hard conversations — and what it takes to build an environment where teams can truly thrive. Drawing from two decades in product design, civic tech, and leadership coaching, Joshua brings practical, deeply human guidance on navigating organizational tension, protecting team trust, and avoiding the trap of control disguised as process.

From the neuroscience of conflict to the value of rituals and the art of disagreeing and committing, Joshua’s insights are rooted in experience — not just theory. Whether you're a CEO, product leader, or just someone who wants to get better at the conversations that matter, this episode offers useful ideas for designing more human teams and more honest leadership.

Unlock the full potential of your product team with Integral's player coaches, experts in lean, human-centered design. Visit integral.io/convergence for a free Product Success Lab workshop to gain clarity and confidence in tackling any product design or engineering challenge.

Inside the episode...
Why conflict avoidance is costly — and how to know when it’s time to speak up
What it really means to create psychological safety (and how to ritualize it)
Understanding the brain’s role in conflict, emotion, and reactivity
The “compass vs. map” approach to navigating difficult conversations
How to mediate conflict as a leader without becoming a dictator
Using tools like user manuals and plus-deltas to personalize collaboration
Building rituals without becoming dogmatic or overly process-driven
When to assume positive intent — and when that’s no longer productive
What to do when you’re facing manipulation, gaslighting, or loss of trust
Why checking in with yourself can be the most powerful leadership too

Mentioned in this episode
Joshua’/s book - We Need to Talk: A Survival Guide for Tough Conversations. http://amazon.com/We-Need-Talk-Survival-Conversations/dp/1959029118/ref=sr_1_5
Lost Horse Labs – losthorse.design, e-mail hello at losthorse.design
Plus/Deltas as a feedback framework: https://blogs.vmware.com/tanzu/plus-delta-feedback/
Nonviolent communication: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication
Joshua’s favourite maker tools - Glowforge - https://glowforge.com/
Joshua’s favourite maker tools - XTool (screen printing tools) - https://www.xtool.com/
Joshua’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/itsjoshuagraves

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design thinking, psychological safety, We Need To Talk book, avoiding conflict at work, product team alignment, conflict mediation, Agile best practices, product teams, product leadership, lean rituals, product design culture, team trust building, startup conflict resolution, product innovation culture, psychological trust, plus delta feedback, team structure, Lost Haus Labs, software team rituals, startup teams, Joshua Graves, leadership communication, user manuals team,