Joshua Graves, founder of Lost Horse Labs and author of We Need to Talk, joins the show to unpack what happens when product leaders ignore hard conversations — and what it takes to build an environment where teams can truly thrive. Drawing from two decades in product design, civic tech, and leadership coaching, Joshua brings practical, deeply human guidance on navigating organizational tension, protecting team trust, and avoiding the trap of control disguised as process.
From the neuroscience of conflict to the value of rituals and the art of disagreeing and committing, Joshua's insights are rooted in experience — not just theory. Whether you're a CEO, product leader, or just someone who wants to get better at the conversations that matter, this episode offers useful ideas for designing more human teams and more honest leadership.
Unlock the full potential of your product team with Integral's player coaches, experts in lean, human-centered design. Visit integral.io/convergence for a free Product Success Lab workshop to gain clarity and confidence in tackling any product design or engineering challenge.
Inside the episode...
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Why conflict avoidance is costly — and how to know when it's time to speak up
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What it really means to create psychological safety (and how to ritualize it)
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Understanding the brain's role in conflict, emotion, and reactivity
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The "compass vs. map" approach to navigating difficult conversations
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How to mediate conflict as a leader without becoming a dictator
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Using tools like user manuals and plus-deltas to personalize collaboration
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Building rituals without becoming dogmatic or overly process-driven
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When to assume positive intent — and when that's no longer productive
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What to do when you're facing manipulation, gaslighting, or loss of trust
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Why checking in with yourself can be the most powerful leadership too
Mentioned in this episode
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Joshua'/s book - We Need to Talk: A Survival Guide for Tough Conversations. http://amazon.com/We-Need-Talk-Survival-Conversations/dp/1959029118/ref=sr_1_5
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Lost Horse Labs – losthorse.design, e-mail hello at losthorse.design
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Plus/Deltas as a feedback framework: https://blogs.vmware.com/tanzu/plus-delta-feedback/
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Nonviolent communication: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication
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Joshua's favourite maker tools - Glowforge - https://glowforge.com/
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Joshua's favourite maker tools - XTool (screen printing tools) - https://www.xtool.com/
Joshua's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/itsjoshuagraves
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